“STANLEY, YOU WILL NOT DIE!! STANLEY, BARACK IS PRESIDENT!! YOU ARE BLACK, STANLEY!!”

“I miss Dwight. Hurry up, September!!”

“Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of MEN can't resist a man singing show tunes.”

“I MISS MICHAEL. :(”

“This show is sad. ”

“Gonna see if this is truly scary. I am practically scare-proof. ”

“I'll kiss you on the mouth, Kenny Rogers.”

“I got cable today, yay!! Time to veg in front of the tv. :)”

“I'm in the mood for a scary movie!! Gonna watch on my "new" TV. :D”

“Tons of profanity, cock pushups, tripped-out scene including flying Sasquatches. What's not to love??”

“Mindless movie to play as noise in the background while I go to sleep. :)”

“I can't listen to Jefferson Airplane without thinking of Jim's lovely performance of "Somebody to Love" ”

“How dare you compare Prince Habeeboo's bikini hut restaurant to this, HOOCHIE HOUSE?! ”