“Yes. And Sofia Vergara, WE GET IT. YOU HAVE A GIGANTIC RACK.”

“Cracky Vampire Show is Cracky. ”

“Time to listen to Hopey McChangey talk. ”

“I briefly thought the guest star was Meat Loaf. Now I need this to happen. ”

“Go to hell, Rex Ryan.”

“With wine. Thank God.”

“Bring on the Drunky Oscars! Someone give Meryl an extra bottle of white. ”