“Yippee-kay-a kemosabe - copyright awful ITV dubbing 1994. Brought to you in association with mother-fudgers.”

“Is a hot dog for breakfast the meal of champions or someone who spends too much time in the cinema? Or both? Discuss...”

“Where's Wal...Osama?”

“Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine in this right? That's what Mrs S said...”

“Brains and stuff are bound to settle my stomach...”

“Stallone turns up and I'm outta here.”

“Freedom! Hang on...wrong film, there's no drunk Mel Gibson.”

“Here we go! The road to redemption starts here. In Gaelic...”