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“"I'd figured, after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and try to woo her." "Hey, you know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used."”
“"I've got an interview!!!" "Where?" "Saks Fifth Avenue!" "Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home" LOL”
“"Your father's no James Bond; you should hear some of his excuses: I'm sleeping over at my accountants..."”
“"Oh, no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms" O________O (Chandler's face right about now)”