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Season 9, Episode 14 - Aired 12/07/2005
Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad gets pulled over for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan’s dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his disease.
Free Willzyx Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 13 - Aired 11/30/2005
A “talking” whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure you’ll not soon forget. One in which the boys learn just how far you would go for a friend.
Trapped in the Closet Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 12 - Aired 11/16/2005
Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.
Season 9, Episode 11 - Aired 11/09/2005
Cartman suffers from a mysterious and sudden on-set of the disease, Gingervitus. Sick and tired of being ripped-on because he now has red hair, light skin and freckles, he rallies all ginger kids everywhere to fight against discrimination.
Follow That Egg Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 10 - Aired 11/02/2005
Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.
Season 9, Episode 9 - Aired 10/26/2005
The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition.
Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 8 - Aired 10/19/2005
A global warming state of emergency is declared in South Park. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and floods the adjacent town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.
Erection Day Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 7 - Aired 04/20/2005
All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can’t wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy’s noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can’t get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.
The Death of Eric Cartman Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 6 - Aired 04/13/2005
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead. Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.
The Losing Edge Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 5 - Aired 04/06/2005
If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.
Best Friends Forever Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 4 - Aired 03/30/2005
Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with it. Will they remain best friends forever?
Season 9, Episode 3 - Aired 03/23/2005
As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client’s earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.
Die Hippie, Die Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 2 - Aired 03/16/2005
Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.
Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina Edit this episode
Season 9, Episode 1 - Aired 03/09/2005
Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.